This blog went to the wayside when I left the Maldives,
partly because I stopped ‘being somewhere else from where I’m from’ and I
returned to Canada, so the story stopped. I could have resurrected this blog,
this story, to share aspects of my recent journey to Jordan. But I did not. I
shared that through crumbs on instagram instead. And really, who cares. They
are just travel photos. I took the same photos that everyone else does who goes
there....
Something happened to me in Jordan. Something I was not
expecting. It was life changing and somewhat profound and crushing yet strangely relieving, at least it
was for me. This came on the back of
losing my dad this year and all the turmoil that goes with that. And of losing
my love just before that (painfully) while I was trying to readjust to life in
Canada. Of losing my past-mother-in-law just after dad passed, reminding me of yet
another entire life lost and the sorrow that goes with that…
And then, of gaining! Gaining a permanent job to be proud of.
Rare in my circles. Of being near my mom again after so many years and years away- having Christmas
dinner together now instead of my baking yet another a sad chicken breast in
the toaster oven over too much wine- alone somewhere with the Grinch on in the background. I now feel a sense of home in my cute downtown
Victoria apartment, junkies yelling under my window in summer, street lights
changing from red to green to red to green, illuminating my face through the
venetian blinds as I fall to sleep. I
love this town, Victoria. I could stay here. I never say that.
But something happened when I was in the promised land a
couple weeks ago… the universe slapped my face back into place. I was reminded
of our fragility as humans. Or at least my lot in life…. ‘Don’t get
too comfortable’, the universe said. ‘You’re not meant for easy.’ So I'm looking to silver linings, and I am exploring what good can come of this. Stay tuned.
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